Real beauty amidst a flood of tears

Ever since I’ve had a daughter I seem to cry at everything. A butterfly flitters across my lawn and a single tear runs down my face. I listen to “Follow Me” by John Denver while sipping my morning coffee, and my emotions take over me like a sudden downpour in the middle of the night. I see my daughter and her Daddy snuggled up together before bedtime reading “The Great Cookie Thief.” As I watch my husband graciously act out the story for her (for the hundredth time), and as my sweet angel giggles and tries to mimic his every action, my heart seems to stop for a second, and I must take a deep breath and swallow back my cries. I speak with a friend who has lost a family member to cancer and the tears come flowing out me, gushing out from the depths of my soul with no regard for my pride, and with no intention of stopping. What has gotten into me? Can I still chock this overflow of emotions up to post-baby hormones, lack of sleep, or a good ol’ Aunt Flo visit? I think the answer is – no. After all, I stopped breast feeding over a year ago, I had many sleepless nights before I had a baby, and I have been a woman for some time now! So what is it about having a daughter that has driven me to become a puddle of mush when I see my rose bush develop its first bloom of the season? To be completely honest with you I’m not quite sure. But, I read a quote the other day by Frank Lloyd Wright that shed at least a glimmer of light on the issue – “The longer I live the more beautiful life becomes. If you foolishly ignore beauty, you will soon find yourself without it. Your life will be impoverished. But if you invest in beauty, it will remain with you all the days of your life.” Mr. Wright was not speaking about the superficial, commercialized, sexual “beauty” that we are inundated with today. He was talking about the beauty of nature, of the things that come naturally without manipulation, and beauty in the form of deep set wrinkles filled with wisdom and understanding. I remember about 5 years ago when I wouldn’t leave the house until I had spent at least two hours in front of a mirror – plucking, curling, lining, combing, highlighting, contouring, more eye shadow, more mascara, more blush! I thought I was investing in beauty. HA!! I couldn’t have been farther from it. Now 5 years wiser and in the mist of trying to teach a toddler to use the potty I’m lucky if I can grab my concealer stick and cover up my now navy blue under eye circles before trying to squeeze in potty time for myself. You see, now I’m busy investing in REAL beauty. In my baby girl. In a brand new creation that God has entrusted me with. I think I am finally able to see the real beauty in the world, because that is the beauty I need to impart to my little one. So although when friends stop by for a cup of tea I often open the door with blood shot eyes and a tissue in hand, I’ll still be wearing a smile on my face, because I know that the beauty that comes from being moved by the wonderful creation around us is far more important than looking like the retouched cover of a magazine.


My first rose of the season. 🙂

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4 Responses to Real beauty amidst a flood of tears

  1. Beautifully expressed, Danielle! And your depth of emotion is what makes you a person others connect easily to! I like it.

    • Thank you Melissa. It is such a blessing to know you and to call you a true friend. You are a person who’s inner beauty shines through easily, and I believe you are one the best listeners I have ever met. It’s no wonder you are an awesome counselor!

  2. Julia Beardsley O'Brien says:

    Hi Danielle, I love this post. I only knew you as a wonderful teenager, so it’s very cool to see glimpses of the amazing woman and mom that you’ve become. Thanks for sharing your heart. Don’t ever stop!

    • Thanks for your kind words Julia! You were always a woman I looked up to and admired as a young girl. You truly helped shape me as a person and as a performer. I will always remember how at the end of each class you had everyone say “Thank you for teaching/thank you for learning,” and visa versa. Also, how you always discouraged cliques and made sure everyone was always kind toward each other. Both are motto’s I now hope to pass on as it looks like I will be segueing from acting to teaching next school year. All my love and blessing to you and your family. Hopefully someday our paths will cross again!

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